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What’s going on?” I asked as I stood up and sat in the armchair next to him. Someone needed to sit in the damn thing, so why not me?“Not much my man. Been sitting here contemplating what to reward you with now that you’re chilling up here in heaven,” the fat guy responded. I think he was Asian.“Right on brothe- wait, what the fuck? Did you just say heaven?”“Yeah man. Bad luck about the parachute. Sky diving is usually pretty fun and really gets the blood flowing. Probably a lot less fun when the cord pulls and the ‘chute decides to take the day off, but hey, now you’re here with me.”“Oh God damn it. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to my stupid ass friends. They finally get me to go sky diving with them and I do a nosedive straight into the ground.”“Whoa dude, I didn’t damn you. Just bad luck is all,” the fat guy said, lifting one butt cheek off the chair so he could scratch his ass.“What in the actual fuck are you talking about?” I asked.“See, you said ‘God damn it’, but I didn’t. " He sauntered along the deck past a barbecue pit where dogs were grilling, nodded familiarly at the concessionaire beginning preparations who had a spatula raised and frozen in the air. He sniffed the aromas with pleasure.Peen he approached an empty poolside lounge chair. There he put down his towel and gear on a table beside the chair and plopped his scrawny derriere down with a slight grunt.He extracted a tube of sunscreen from his ditty bag, pulled off his Ray-bans, and proceeded to cover his substantial nose slowly and deliberately. When he completed this portentous task he sighed with deep satisfaction and stated with some pleasure, "Ay." He glanced around once more, replaced his sunglasses, nodded decisively, then tossed a sour lemon ball into his mouth, and pursed his lips, humming as he sucked. After a short consideration, he pronounced another decisive, "Ay." He doffed his sandals, wriggled his prehensile toes, and leaned over to pick fuzz from between them with his fingers..
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